Wednesday, August 17, 2011

To Love . . . and Love Again

Have you ever had a situation in your life that made you want to run and hide and recoil from any human contact, simply because you had been so severely wounded on a repeated basis by someone you used to trust and love? Then you will likely be able to understand some of what I have dealt with for a while now.

How am I to love . . . and love again?  I have asked myself this many times.  It's not that I do not desire to love the person who has repeatedly wronged or wounded me.  On the contrary, I want to love them and make that love an obvious, every day thing.  But they will not allow it.

Perhaps you are thinking, "Not allow it?  What could that mean? A person cannot possibly disallow someone from loving them, can they?"  Unfortunately, it seems they can.  Now I want to clarify: I do not mean that, in choosing to not be around this person and to instead love them from a necessary distance, that they are not loved at all. What I mean is, you can try and try to love another all you want until you have reached the end of your rope . . . until you cannot possibly stretch out toward them any father for fear of falling off the precipice yourself, but it doesn't guarantee that they will feel loved.  It doesn't guarantee that they will know love.  Even real, genuine, godly love straight from your sincere heart, from every fiber of your being.  It is my belief that, inasmuch as we must choose to love others, we must also choose to be loved.

Inasmuch as we must choose to love others, we must also choose to be loved.  Well, that is a rather bold statement, don't you think?  Perhaps this is how you feel.  But please, pause and think about the statement.  Do we not have to choose, every day of our lives, to love those God brings into our circle?  You are not human if you haven't experienced, some point in time, the exasperation of trying to love someone deemed "unlovable," or if you haven't felt what it's like to just about not love someone anymore because they are "old news" . . . and then make your decision to love based on your feelings.  All of us at some point have faced such situations.

My hope is that you choose to love.  Love and love and love yet again.  But turn that back on yourself.  Do you accept love when it is offered to you from another? Do you truly accept and gladly receive the love they offer you, big or small, bold or subtle, instantaneous or gradual?  Or do you wave it aside and move on as if you were never faced with the gift?

You can take it from someone who knows: giving your love over and over to someone who refuses to choose to be loved by you hurts.  It hurts terribly.  And it shouldn't ever, ever, I repeat ever have to be that way.  Not if we all choose to walk in love and to not only give God's genuine love to others, but choose to be loved whether in return, or simply as a complete gift with no strings attached.

Please think on this today.  Please think about the people in your life, those God has brought to you in one way or another.  Which of those choose to be loved by you?  Which are you choosing to be loved by?  Love . . . and love again.


  1. Good thoughts, D (mind if I call you D?)! I agree, it can be frustrating to love someone who seems to continually reject us, but we should keep trying to love them anyway!

  2. it's so easy to love, when we see all the love God has lavishly poured out upon us - even when we were yet sinners and completely unlovable. great post with touching Truths.

  3. I know the feeling, I've been that way a couple of years back...
    I'm so glad my husband didn't give up on me when we first met and that he prayed, had other people pray, learned me how to pray...
    For me that was the only remedy: prayer!!
    And it worked :) Now we've been together for 2 years, married for 1,5 month and I've learned not to hide for his love, even when he has hurt me!

  4. So much truth! Reminds me of how He keeps loving us, even when we break His heart at times. So thankful for unconditional love and forgiveness!

  5. I've so been there. It's kind of painful.

  6. @Callie Nicole: I don't mind if you call me "D" I suppose! LOL Not used to it yet seeing as how my real name doesn't have a "d" in it but it's a cute nickname for Dove, eh? :)

    @Evelien: Yes, I know what it is to be loved even when you find you are pretty much "unlovable" or at the least, very frustrating! Prayer is a very big deal. And never, never hide from your husband's love....such a good point!

    @Heather: Yes. God does love us no matter what and to me, that is still an almost incomprehensible fact. It seems to just rub wrong for the human nature -- but God is above all of the human weaknesses and calls us to love as He loves!

    @Sarah Elizabeth: Yes. It is very painful typically. But one of my favorite quotes related to love and loss because it is true to me to this day, "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

    @Carissa: It is easier to love others when we do pay attention to all the love God has poured upon us and continues to! You are right!