Have you ever had a situation in your life that made you want to run and hide and recoil from any human contact, simply because you had been so severely wounded on a repeated basis by someone you used to trust and love? Then you will likely be able to understand some of what I have dealt with for a while now.
How am I to love . . . and love again? I have asked myself this many times. It's not that I do not desire to love the person who has repeatedly wronged or wounded me. On the contrary, I want to love them and make that love an obvious, every day thing. But they will not allow it.
Perhaps you are thinking, "Not allow it? What could that mean? A person cannot possibly disallow someone from loving them, can they?" Unfortunately, it seems they can. Now I want to clarify: I do not mean that, in choosing to not be around this person and to instead love them from a necessary distance, that they are not loved at all. What I mean is, you can try and try to love another all you want until you have reached the end of your rope . . . until you cannot possibly stretch out toward them any father for fear of falling off the precipice yourself, but it doesn't guarantee that they will feel loved. It doesn't guarantee that they will know love. Even real, genuine, godly love straight from your sincere heart, from every fiber of your being. It is my belief that, inasmuch as we must choose to love others, we must also choose to be loved.
Inasmuch as we must choose to love others, we must also choose to be loved. Well, that is a rather bold statement, don't you think? Perhaps this is how you feel. But please, pause and think about the statement. Do we not have to choose, every day of our lives, to love those God brings into our circle? You are not human if you haven't experienced, some point in time, the exasperation of trying to love someone deemed "unlovable," or if you haven't felt what it's like to just about not love someone anymore because they are "old news" . . . and then make your decision to love based on your feelings. All of us at some point have faced such situations.
My hope is that you choose to love. Love and love and love yet again. But turn that back on yourself. Do you accept love when it is offered to you from another? Do you truly accept and gladly receive the love they offer you, big or small, bold or subtle, instantaneous or gradual? Or do you wave it aside and move on as if you were never faced with the gift?
You can take it from someone who knows: giving your love over and over to someone who refuses to choose to be loved by you hurts. It hurts terribly. And it shouldn't ever, ever, I repeat ever have to be that way. Not if we all choose to walk in love and to not only give God's genuine love to others, but choose to be loved whether in return, or simply as a complete gift with no strings attached.
Please think on this today. Please think about the people in your life, those God has brought to you in one way or another. Which of those choose to be loved by you? Which are you choosing to be loved by? Love . . . and love again.