I am certain that many of you have noticed my conspicuous lack of presence in the blogosphere for the past several months, since the baby boy we are adopting entered our home! Let me just say that quite honestly, I have found very little "free" time for me to use my two hands for anything, including typing, and of course blogging is all about that. However, I do believe that my lack of free time or time with my hands free, rather, is being put to good use elsewhere, in loving, taking care of and raising a sweet baby boy.
There have been challenges, and many of them. I won't lie and tell you it's been all a bed of roses. Transitioning into new parenthood is HARD and now that I'm in the thick of it, I have to say I believe it's HARD whether or not you actually gave birth to the new baby or adopted the new baby! Sure I didn't have to carry him around in the womb for 9 months and I did not have to go through labor or postpartum issues. I have great respect for all mothers who become mothers the usual way. But just the same, I've felt a whole spectrum of emotions, and sometimes in the course of one day. I've been exhausted beyond imagination. I've been frustrated when I couldn't find the source of baby's persistent crying (figured out he has been colicky, fits the bill hands-down!) and it felt like my ears were going to explode. I've cried at the entirely new and frightening feeling that I'm not as prepared as I attempted to be in order to be the great mom I've wanted to my entire life, but in fact am sorely lacking. I've spent a lot of time just praying and crying out to God to help me, give me wisdom and strength and just 15 minutes more sleep!
And then, there are the unique joys of new parenthood. And let me tell you, these joys are not only what help balance out all of the challenges and the frustrations, the exhaustion and the worries and the stress that just go hand-in-hand with a new baby. They make it an utter blessing to be a parent, and prove to you every single day what a miracle it truly is that God knows how to knit a family together and how to bond a parent with a child.
Some joys in the past few weeks......seeing baby boy smile for the first time. And guess what, he genuinely smiled (it lit up his eyes, even!) for the first time at me on my birthday! That's right! I was so thrilled I nearly cried. What better present could a little newborn give you than that?!? Another is how he has begun to "talk" to us more. He will smile and then start cooing and oohing and making raspberry sounds and it just makes my heart swell with happiness, because I can see that he is happy and feels loved and wanted and safe. And I so desperately want him to know that he definitely is all three of those. I tell him so every day, and I pray for him aloud as I hold him. Another highlight is the eye contact he has begun to make much more now. Eye contact promotes bonding, of course, so I am all for it. But I also could just get lost in those sweet, deep wells. And I always feel as if he is memorizing my face and looking for the affirmation in my eyes. Talk about feeling important!
I do feel he is bonding quite well with both my husband and me. And that is just a wonder in and of itself. I realize that parents and infants bond at different rates, and it is not always immediate. I loved this baby before I ever laid eyes on him.......but I love him even more now than I did the first time I held him in my arms. The fact that he is not of my blood is irrelevant. And I felt it would be when the time came. But actually feeling how my heart is bonding to his and knowing that I will always have a special place in my heart for this precious boy is just overwhelming to me. Truly a gift from God.
And then there is the funny thing I was thinking about when I chose the title for this post. God's impeccable timing. Maybe you recall the book I read and reviewed in late May, The Christian Mama's Guide to Pregnancy? Well I am not pregnant. However, it was not three days after I wrote that review that we received the call about our baby boy. I thought to myself, how perfect is that? I just read a book that includes a little postpartum insight and advice, and now we are getting a newborn in our home! Entirely applicable. I was wanting so much to be a mommy, and suddenly I was! All I can say is, God's timing is truly impeccable!!
Hope that you are having a lovely day and that this post proves a blessing to you. If you are a new parent, a parent-to-be or a seasoned parent and have anything you want to share (joys, challenges, insights, or just good ol' comments!) please do. I would love to hear from you!