My enemies say of me in malice,
"When will he die and his name perish?"
When one of them comes to see me,
he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander;
then he goes out and spreads it around.
But may you have mercy on me, Lord;
raise me up, that I may repay them.
I know that you are pleased with me,
for my enemy does not triumph over me.
Because of my integrity you uphold me
and set me in your presence forever.
- Psalms 41:5-6, 10-12 (Italics added by me)
Have you ever had one of those days when you felt led to read a certain passage of scripture in your morning quiet time with God, and then after reading it you thought, "Well, I don't know if that particular scripture applies for me at this moment. But it's all inspired, Holy Word and absolutely important." Then, before the day is even through, it hits you how astoundingly pertinent that particular passage actually is for your life? Right now, at this moment?
That happened to me. Literally today. I read Psalms 41 this morning. Of course it brought me comfort, but I was also sitting there thinking, "Thankfully no one is acting like my enemy right now, at least not that I'm aware, outside of THE enemy of course. Thank you Lord for being pleased with me, for helping me to have a kind heart toward the weak (that's how this chapter begins!), and for setting me in your wonderful presence forever."
Little did I know I would find out that a person who does not even have the right to say they know me has recently spoken falsely about me. And has actually gone out and spread it around (it's not nice at all to find out second or third-hand).
These completely unnecessary, petty, rude, thoughtless and outright malicious actions simply baffle me. I cannot fathom someone trespassing against another like that. To put it simply, it breaks my heart into a million shattered pieces.
What hurts the most is that a person would choose to be so ugly (putting it nicely) when I have done nothing wrong. When I have done nothing to provoke or to give the impression that I am anything but enthusiastic about life, about loving others and showing that love, about living for my King, Jesus.
And yet, I know deep down in my heart of hearts, that this world hates the light. That the people who choose to live in darkness and not in the light of Jesus will never understand true love, true brotherhood, true harmony. They will never attempt to refrain from speaking whatever they feel toward others, including malicious and untrue things. They will not stop themselves from gathering slander and spreading it to others.
Because I cannot and will not control others, I am left looking to a greater God. And though my heart is literally broken right now, and fear is trying to pound down my door, I will look to Jesus. I know without a shadow of a doubt that He loves me, that He will NOT allow my enemy to triumph over me, and that as I walk in integrity and in the love of Christ He will set me in his presence forever and uphold me so that I will not be taken down with all those who try to drag me down with them.
Thank you, Lord. Thank you for Your Word and Your impeccable timing. Thank You for the protection You promise to give to Your children who seek Your face and attempt every day to live upright and in integrity, and to love our neighbors as ourselves which You said is the second greatest commandment after loving You. Thank you, Lord.