Speaking the Truth

Have you ever had to speak the truth to someone in love? You know what I'm talking about, the manner in which we are directed to live and to speak to others by God in the New Testament, "15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." (Ephesians 4:15-16)

This verse is beautiful, part of a chapter in the Bible that give us explicit directions on how to walk as Christians, and also provides a vivid illustration of what it would look like for us if we chose to follow these directions and truly connect as one body under the head, Jesus Christ. Let's look at what comes before the "instead" that starts in verse 15, because otherwise, it can be difficult (at least for me) to fully grasp what these directions mean (italics added):

" 11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work."

We are told that Christ gave us the equipment to be built up until we all reach unity and become mature.  Until we attain the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.  Those are some strong, strong words.  By no means do I consider myself a teacher when it comes to God's Word or how to interpret or understand it.  But I do try to meditate on His Word, and find the meaningful throughout the verses.  And today, I am thinking about what it means to speak the truth in love . . .  what it takes to do so, how difficult or easy it can be, how we feel about it and the repercussions (as we are still part human even as we are spirits), etc.

I will tell you in utter honesty, that I've had more opportunities to practice speaking the truth in love to several people in my own life in the past couple of years than I think I ever had, collectively, in my entire life before those years.  While I am the first to say I have often made grave mistakes in relationships and in how I've spoken or acted or reacted, I want to also say, there have been times I am thankful that I've chosen to speak the truth in love.  But I would not be speaking truth to you, friends, if I told you that speaking the truth in love is a walk in the park or a piece of cake.  In fact, it takes almost a painful amount of effort and focus, because at least in my experience, the times when I had the opportunity to do so were the times when I was already facing frustration with another person.  When I was angry or hurt or just plain upset and everything in me was screaming to lash out, to retaliate, or at the very least, to defend myself verbally.  I confess, I am not always soft and kind in my responses. I do think I've matured some in the past several years, thank God.  But in reflection, I see that regardless of the sweat beading on my proverbial forehead when I strive to speak the truth in love, all the pain I feel in choosing the right way is nothing compared to the regret and self-condemnation I feel when I choose the wrong way, instead.  Does this make sense?

I had to make a choice again, today.  And yes, it was difficult.  Yes, speaking the truth but speaking it in love is not as easy as just bluntly speaking the "obvious."  However, I will tell you something; when I chose today to speak the truth in love toward others, there was a peace that settled over me like a cloud.  I truly believe it's the peace that passes understanding, the peace Jesus gave us when we chose Him and His way of doing things, " And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:7)  I struggled with myself and my natural, carnal desire to see the wrongs made right, to see what I would consider justice be carried out, to have my way and my say.  And it's entirely possible there was still too much of "me" in my response.  Yet I know that, overall, I chose to speak the truth and I spoke it in love.  And I felt the peace of God come over me and wrap me up in His arms, like a loving father would a scared, uncertain and feeble child.   There is no comparison, friends.  Nothing can compare to walking in God's love and being upheld and surrounded by His Peace.

Here's praying and hoping that you find the strength in God to choose to speak the truth in love; that you find for yourself what a reward of peace and contentment choosing to obey Him in this one, seemingly small area can bring!  Have a lovely Sunday! 

Another Loop . . . and another . . . and another . . . .

So, I just realized with an unhappy shock, that I haven't even been ON here since February 1st! How SAD is that? And yet, I have just as many excuses for it if not more than the average girl.

Life has thrown me for MANY loops in the last couple weeks, especially . . . and my exercise goals/bootcamp in the meantime have nearly gone completely down the drain. HOWEVER I DO plan on getting back into the groove a.s.a.p. . . . soon as I can get some of my life together that is all falling apart at present. And you know what's absurd? It has NOTHING to do with ME disrupting it! I was trying to do everything as well as I possibly could. So I have a clean conscience in that department.

Does a clean conscience always make it all better? Absolutely NOT. But it sure does help me sleep at night . . . .I just need MORE sleep than I'm getting while going through stress and a tumultuous period.

Anyhow, I KNOW in my heart of hearts all will be well eventually . . . and I pray, sooner than later! And I will be happy to get back on here and cheer myself on for exercising and getting my life together in various areas!!! Talk to you all later!

Life Throws You for a Loop then Brings You 'Round Again

Last time I came on here, I was having a less than wonderful weekend in many respects. I was frustrated with how people I love were treating me, and how I was forced to respond (or not) to them. And honestly, some of those areas are still sensitive and need some work and TLC. But at least, the couple of them who chose to not be on speaking terms with me were again starting a couple days ago. Good thing!

Also, I haven't worked out as much in the time between last Saturday and now. However, that was not all a choice because I had appointments and other things to attend to. I did get a great workout in on Sunday, for about 1 hour and 45 minutes. Then an hour on Tuesday. And I'm considering going to the gym for a while this afternoon, if I can fit it in between a couple of errands I really need to run. I would like the chance to work out stress and all the bad stuff that accompanies negative stress . . . . and to just have time to "myself" to think and exercise at once.

Still, I am working very hard on keeping my self-discipline up and keeping myself in my very own bootcamp. I need to stick with the working out. And the self-improvement. And I want to! Really!!! I want everything in my life to improve . . . . everything. And I'm willing to do what I have to in order to make that happen . . . .even when it means more pain.

So, hope you all are doing great out there in cyberspace! If you ever feel like leaving a comment to tell me you've been in my situation or you just want to encourage me or something, please do so!!

Have a great weekend if I don't get to drop in here again between now and then . . . .

Sometimes Life Throws You for a Loop . . . .

Hello fellow bloggers and blog-followers! Okay, forgive me if I'm totally "out-there" in how I write or salute anyone who just might dare to read this blog someday.....you must understand, I am VERY new at this. LOL

So, in the past week I've had my share of challenges, confusion, heartache, frustration, pain, and even some depression. Am I writing this to make you feel sorry for me? That could be part of it. Most of us savor sympathy. Hey, it pays to be honest, right? Although I must say, often times, honesty really hurts.

Anyhow, like I said, the past week has been filled with trials. Some new. Right now, while I'm very happy with where I am in my fitness/exercise goals (I'm still working on bettering my diet but the time at the gym is above par!), I am not so thrilled with where I find myself in a couple other areas. I say "find" myself, because honestly, I don't know exactly how I got there. And I don't think a lot of it's fair. And I don't think people I love should try to "manipulate" me or my feelings/responses/behavior by treating me in a not-so-loving-fashion. Life's not fair. I know. How many times has that been proffered to me and COMPLETELY set me off?

Here's how it stands right now . . . . I am doing great in my time spent alone (time reading, pausing to think and be quiet), time spent working out, time talking and trying to reconnect with a couple of girl friends and I tried to reconnect with my family . . . . and guess what. It's NOT working. The only thing I can ascertain (because at this moment one for sure and perhaps two of them are just NOT on speaking terms with me, their choice) is that they finally decided they were "fed up" with me for whatever various reasons they may have, and so now they are attempting (whether or not they even realize they are doing this is a moot point) to manipulate me into crawling my way back into their lives and their good favor or something like that. And I'm just not willing to do that when I've repeatedly stated the truth about myself, my actions, my words, my intentions and I've even apologized and said I was/am working on actively doing better in all areas of my life. Because why should I have to crawl along like some lowly snake in the grass? That's not fair to me. And it's not healthy for our relationship(s).

Has anyone been here before? Surely others have. I haven't faced it in this severity or manner before in my life from those I love most. And what really stings, is that I am pretty much in the dark for their reasoning behind treating me like this so severely, unkindly, and inconsiderately. Seriously!!! I honestly am not sure what to do beside whatever I have been doing and am doing now . . . . spending time alone, reading and writing out my thoughts/anxieties/hurts through journalling, working out to relieve stress and increase feel-good hormones, working on my areas I was working on before, trying to get into contact with a good friend or two that I can simply talk with in the absence of the fear of "saying the wrong thing" or "being my usual awful self" that everyone seems to think I am right now . . . . and just not saying anything to those who are choosing to shut me out and not communicate. Because I've tried communicating in a humble, honest, vulnerable and kind way and they shunned me. I honestly don't know what else I can do beside just let them go and wait for them to come back around.

This all cuts to the heart of me and that's no exaggeration. It's plain awful. And confusing. I'm just praying things will improve quickly and I will not contribute to the situation worsening and I'm hoping I'll grow somehow through all of this.

Anyway, I vented now. Maybe, if you're in a similar situation or you are going to be in the near future, this post will somehow help you. I hope so. Have a good day . . . . I'm going to try to make mine as good as I can, starting with making it just bearable.