What is it about life anyway?

What is it about life, anyway, that it can get us down at the drop of a hat?  Well, maybe not that easily ALL the time.  After all, most of us at least like to say that it takes a lot more than your average disappointment to really get us down in the dumps.

Yet, it seems that there is always something to bring me down.  Another hurdle.  Another wall. Another door slammed in the face.  Another unkind word.  Another thoughtless action.  Another episode of spiteful behavior.  Another evil intent.  And it's not always that I'm the one being thoughtless, spiteful, unkind or just plain dumb.  It's that I find myself being treated this way by others.  And it leaves me feeling confused, hurt, angry, down.

I was reminded yet again last week by more than one person, that it's not always going to be my fault.  That right now, it's not my fault.  No matter how much I want to take on the blame for everything going wrong, I simply cannot.  I did what I could.  I did more than what I thought was possible. I put out my best effort.  And was met with what most would deem failure. Perhaps it wasn't "failure" after all, just one more battle lost in the big scheme of things, another lesson learned. I know I'm learning.  Lots. 

So. . . .I find myself once again looking for the silver lining.  The light at the end of the tunnel.  Actively seeking all the things in my life for which I can be grateful - and yes, there are many.  I find myself "coaching" the timid, sad, misplaced little part of the inner me to realize that it's not all about me; in the sense that, when you've done all you can, stand.  Stand strong.  But don't worry about what others do in response to your best intentions, your sweetest offerings, your most sacrificial actions.  Because in the end, just as in the here and now, the only one you are responsible for is you.  Yes, it most certainly is easier said than done, this positive self-talk and the choice to move on and realize you've done all you can and it's just not up to you anymore.  But I've been told, it can be done.  With time.  With effort.  With discipline. With willingness.  I'm trying . . . .

Just some of my thoughts for today . . . . hope these help you somehow!   

I have been away for far too long . . . long post to follow!

Hello dear friends,

I find it is time again for me to post . . . . something.  It seems ironic to me that the times I feel most inspired are also (more often than I'd like) the times when I am not able to share my inspiration, whether because of time constraints, or other responsibilities.  So I'm attempting a few moments here to catch and gather my thoughts again and see how I can share them.  If I ramble some, please forgive me and know I'm happy to be back here!

I've been reading the posts of a couple of very, very good friends of mine.  They inspire me to think more than most of us tend to think -- I think.  That was way too many thinks!  Anyhow, more deeply I should say.  I have always enjoyed thinking deeply . . . . "profoundly."  It's too much for some, I've gathered, through conversations in which I confess that I think "a lot" and "intensely" and they confess that they prefer not to think so much or so intensely.  I don't mind their choice to think less, so long as it doesn't hurt them or endanger anyone else. But I'm not even referring to thinking as a means of protection, or of "common sense."  I'm referring to thinking more as a means to understanding, enlightenment, musing.  I like to think simply to think -- although once in a while, I wish I didn't think so much or so hard.  :)   Part of the package, I suppose.

Anyhow, I was thinking yesterday, yet again, of how life can take such a turn.  For most, a turn for the best is always appreciated.  But sometimes, it seems it takes a turn for the worst.  People lose jobs, lose money, or worst of all, lose someone they love. It is one thing to lose someone you care about or at least, once cared about, through no fault of your own.  Yet some people choose to "lose" a loved one through their own actions, their own spite, their own selfishness, their own greed.  It is entirely possible to "lose" a person through means beside the death of the natural body.  You can lose a person by choosing your own way all the time, by treating them in a rude and inconsiderate manner, by neglecting them, or even, most simply and yet profoundly, by never admitting you could be wrong, never saying "I'm sorry."  I think it's a fact we all have been wrong at least once in our lifetime.  I know I have been. And I've been at fault for not seeing the light and apologizing promptly and authentically.

But would I want to lose someone I love simply through pride and stubborness? Absolutely not.  I seek every day to look inwardly, and to check the state of my heart and my attitude.  Some days I feel I make leaps and bounds toward positive growth and positive state of mind, heart, and attitude.  Some days, I feel like a rotten scoundrel that doesn't deserve to be loved.  It's on those days that I have to gently and yet firmly remind myself, the truth is, not one person "deserves" to be loved. We have all trespassed against each other and, I believe, against God. If we were to love anyone -- including our own selves -- based upon how "good" or how "just" or how "compliant to man's rules" one is -- we would all sink before we'd swim. It's a fact.

All to say, next time someone does you wrong, speaks ill of you, offends you, neglects you, or outright abandons or betrays you  . . . . hard as it is (and yes, it is VERY VERY hard), try to remember that you were once -- or will at sometime in your life be -- that same person. The one who didn't apologize, didn't forgive, didn't put themselves in the others' place, abandoned or betrayed the one who loved them so.  And do all you can to forgive them. Forgive, yes forgive, even your own self. Learn and move on. Because forgiveness, my friends, albeit the most difficult thing to do sometimes, is the key to true healing.  If you forgive, somehow, almost magically I suppose, the power of evil to control you or to harm you is suddenly deflected.  You may still experience hurt at times.  But you will not be controlled by those who harm you -- intentionally and unintentionally.  And you will be free.

Have a blessed day!